Told my mom I have anxiety and she's like why? Don't be anxious everything is great.
She didn't get that it's all in my head.
Mental health jokes.
Coping badly, but consistently. These are jokes, not treatment — if things feel heavy, talk to a real human with a real license.
My therapist asked me to describe my support system.
I said 3 Starbucks Ventis, 2 espressos, and 1 Turkish coffee. Then I wondered why the panic attack came out of nowhere.
People say journaling helps you process your feelings.
I wrote three pages and now my journal needs therapy.
I tried to set boundaries this week.
I said no 1x, apologized 2x, and then I did all things anyways.
I've decided no more anxiety.
Let's try comedy.
I discovered autism at MIT 20 years ago. Way before it went mainstream and apparently was caused by those disease-eradicating vaccines. My sarcasm was taken literally.
Do you suspect your loved one has autism? Make some sarcastic jokes; if they laugh, you are good.
My mom doesn't get sarcasm - she always says ok to my sarcasm jokes.
Is it autism or depression? We will never know. She doesn't believe in therapy even though my therapist believes in her.
I forced my mom to get therapy.
After one session she told me, "Ok that was a lot of money for all the things you tell me for free. I don't need a therapist when I've got you." Guess who is the sucker wasting money in therapy now - me!
Problem: My Oura ring and Whoop band tell me I've only got 4 hours of sleep.
Solution: Throw the tracking ring and bands out the window! Problem solved.
Fun fact: Did you know most "normal" people don't worry about the future?
They don't think about terrible things that have never happened and probably — and hopefully — never will.
Random things that give me anxiety:
All the chemicals in our foods that are slowly giving us ass cancer. Global warming is not a hoax, folks. Second coming of Jesus — if we keep on bombing random countries, maybe he is coming. People going with their gut feeling vs things like science and facts. People choosing irrational fear over loving their neighbor.
Fun fact: Did you know most "normal" people only feel sad when sad things happen?
If you feel sad ALL the time, like ALL the time, that's not normal.
Real Fact: New research is coming out saying that if you learn a new language your brain is 6 to 13 yrs younger.
That explains why my brain is stuck somewhere between 2 to -40yrs old — goo goo gaa gaa.
I love it when women are abused; everyone is like — well, it's your fault you picked him. You should have known... because you know how it is.
Abusers go around with a sticker on their forehead and throw punches on the first dates.